People tell me I am organized. I am not organized. I still have a plastic bag in my bedroom closet from last week filled with piles of paperwork that I moved off the kitchen counter. I am the master of creating flexible systems for my family. Systems that work at home, or on vacation. Systems that help me achieve balance as a mom and business owner.
A system is a way of doing one aspect of life. First, I created a list of barriers. “What is contributing to your exhaustion?” Your kids, no surprise there. What if I told you that adaptable systems are the answer to achieving a balanced life? What if I told you I have 3 kids, a company, a house, travel soccer, drums, gymnastics, mad science, birthday parties, and I am still sane. Would you opt in? I bet. Keep scrolling to learn my tricks.
"It seems like yesterday. I was crying in my car, hiding in the bathroom, or looking for my next best exit plan for a quiet moment."
You’ve been there right mamas? I needed to shift my plan. I bet you will be surprised to learn how I did this...aaaand as a result, I have dramatically increased my ability to grow my business.
It starts with *less* of you
Your kids are capable of more
Systems are not to be confused with expectations (expectations allow for failure; systems allow for modification)
3 Systems that Work
Teach leadership. Start by teaching time management. My children understand the concept of time. My 9 and 12 year old girls set their alarm, wake up, get ready for school, make breakfast and lunch. Get ready for it. ALL ON THEIR OWN! This matters. It’s our system and I am establishing a way to ease into the morning so I feel relaxed.
Demand follow through. Yes, I know you are tired and the quality of your parenting is the first to go. I am 1000% guilty of this. We call this system “rewind”. Go retrace your steps and put away everything that you used. Mamas, we are talking about the dishes here, too. I am not a dishwasher for a family of 5, and neither are you. My 7 year old son has adapted his system. He cleans his plate, rinses his dish and stacks the dishwasher. Our old system was ineffective. It was “clear your plate”. Do you see the shift I made here? Do not allow this system to lapse. Otherwise, you will be tidying up after hours your cherubs are fast asleep. Remember, *less* of you.
Amends matter. We all have moments when we are not our best selves. Our system is we “make it right”! This doesn’t mean a guilt trip, or 5 minute lecture. A flexible system can’t hinder your flow, or derail your afternoon. It means, you apologize now, and we create our plan to make amends later. Here’s how I begin these conversations: “how are we going to make this right?” Did you notice my intentional use of “we” versus “you”. Systems work when a child feels empowered, not threatened.